If not attraction, then what?

I remember the first time I had grilled cheese with my wife.  We were married (and two poor youth ministers), so we sat down to a dinner of grilled cheese and some soup.  After she had made the sandwich (she still makes the best grilled cheese that I've had), we sat down and I simply asked, "Do we have any strawberry jam?"  Even as I write this, I remember the puzzled look on her face, and I'm guessing you have it on your face right now. 

You see, when I was young, my aunt made grilled cheese sandwiches for my cousin and I, and put strawberry jam on his.  With a puzzled look on my face, I asked, "Are you going to eat it like that?"  He said, "Yeah."  My aunt asked me if I wanted to try it.  I hesitantly said yes, and when I tasted the sweet strawberries with the crisp bread and melted cheese, I loved it.  Now, I realize it's not for everyone, but when DeAnn served me the sandwich, it didn't even occur to me that she never would have experienced strawberry jam on a grilled cheese sandwich.

As I remember that experience, it makes me think about how, having grown up in the church and now serving in churches, I can have a tendency to assume other people have had the same experiences I have had in the church.  This leads to attractional thinking, believing that the church can "build it and they will come".  Attractional thinking in the church leads us to believe that whatever "it" is (newer music, better youth or children's ministry, hipper teaching, etc), if we can just do "it" better, people will come, because people all have the same experience we do.

The truth is, we live in a time when the church in North America is no longer a dominant part of the community or people's lives.  It's not a part of people's lives because, well, for any number of reasons (irrelevance, past hurt, ambivalence, etc).  And that's because a church, rather than listening to others, often expects someone to change and be like "us" in order for them to "fit in."  We want people from outside the church to do the cultural changing, becoming more like everyone else in the church, rather than getting to know our communities and neighborhoods, seeing what God is up to in them, and then joining alongside God.

If attractional church invites everyone to "come and see and be like us," and people are neither coming nor changing, then what's the alternative?  Can we, the people who are the church, go into our communities and neighborhoods?  The answer is, we have to.  Not because the attractional model isn't working any more and so we have to do something new.  We need to go and meet our neighbors and community and interact and listen because it's what Jesus did.

Did you ever notice that Jesus seems to be willing to go into different communities to interact with people?  Samaritan woman, tax collector Zaccheus, Pharisees, whoever, Jesus is willing to interact with people, listen to their story.  Jesus didn't expect everyone to have his experience or understanding, he was willing to sit with them, "saint" or "sinner", and listen and share.

The North American church today can no longer believe that it has anything to offer people by creating bigger buildings, better programs, or even more interesting teaching.  The only thing we have to offer is the life of the Kingdom of God, and quite honestly, it's not all that attractive.  "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it." (Luke 9:23-24) doesn't sound all that attractive.  It's not meant to be attractive, it is meant to be the model for the life of the Jesus-follower.

So, I wonder, where is God at work in your community?  What are ways that you can go into your community to listen?  To live the Kingdom life among others, rather than inviting them to church?  I'd love to hear from you.